Eternity

I am sitting here stewing over “what I haven’t received”. I’m sitting here thinking about what I haven’t gotten, what I have recieved which was entitled to me, and how I work for a company that isn’t going to give me what their policies dictate unless I spend a great deal of time (off the clock) proving to them that it is owed to me. And then I am sure, based on what I’ve had to do in the past here and what I have also seen other people have to face, that I will be “in for a fight”.

Not that I will have to really fight that is, or even yell or get angry. What I mean by that is that I will simply have to keep on and keep on and not forget and keep reminding myself to remind them, and prove by shear tenacity that this is something that’s important to me, and then, only then will I be finally given that thing which they’ve promised to me that I should get. Is it really worth it?

I don’t think that it is. And I don’t want to go through that much trouble to get something that I was told was supposed to be given to me based on a job well done. There is very little that this company ‘gives’ in the way of incentives. A company full of empty promises.

Is this really what I am supposed to be living for? Is this what my hopes and dreams are supposed to be built on. I know it’s not. But I ask myself that question because I know that anything which disapoints me is something that I have put my hope in. The greater the disapointment, the greater the hope that I have put in that thing, that ideal, or that person. And, if I am smart I’ll put my hope in something long term. Eternity.