It was running just a little hot :-)
There are so many things that are happening that are pressing the faith that God has given me. First of all I wasn’t planning on getting married so soon, but we both know that God had other things in mind. Before I had plans on getting married I had looked at the money that God had given me and thought to myself “ah ok. If I live frugally it looks like I will have enough money here to live in the Philippines for six months before I really must look for a job. And I already think that God is leading me to start looking for work much sooner than that, maybe a month or two, so it will be quite easy to do this.”
But then God put the burden on my heart to get married much sooner according to His timing. So I had to spend a little over half of what I had saved up to buy the ring and pay for what I thought was going to be half of the wedding (but it keeps getting bigger). But I thought to myself, “Well that still leaves me 3 months of provision and I still have my last paycheck and my tax refund that is left. And I also have two hundred in the U.S. that I can send a check to Malu so she can deposit in her dollar account.”. But then this hope of provision has also gone away, at least temporarily, because of the fraud that has been occurring on my accounts.
And then lastly I had been thinking; “Ok, maybe instead of directly through me, God will be providing for the remainder of our needs for the wedding through the Honda that will be sold”. But then this overheating thing happened today where the water cap must have been placed back on the radiator too loosely and I did not look at the temperature gauge as I should have. So for almost an hour my faith was shaken and I was struggling to keep my desire and hopes upward. It was shaken I believe because I had, once again, been putting my faith in what I could see instead of what I could not see. God has taught me that it is foolish to trust in myself (man). As one scripture puts it “It is better to take refuge in the LORD Than to trust in princes.” PS 118:9 . And another one that says “Woe to those who … trust in chariots because they are many and in horsemen because they are very strong, But they do not look to the Holy One of Israel, nor seek the LORD!” ISAIH 31:1
So I started to feel better. And I knew though it was all so difficult, that everyone still had food and clothing. And even though it would make me feel sad I would still have that joy 2Cor 6:10 in knowing what God has promised is more than anything, even a wedding, that I might get in this world. It was only the provision of food and clothing that God had promised. And that not even my wedding is something that He had promised beyond the provision of those. However I still think that He would see to it that this wedding is beautiful because our desire is, this time, to honor Him in this wedding and not ourselves. We hope to point to all good things coming from Him. Without just assuming this, like so many people like to use as an excuse not to recognize God in everything.
Lastly, just a few minutes ago. I found out that the car was ok. Malu’s brother tried the car and it cranked just fine and he said the engine was not any worse than it was before. I was concerned because I had tried the car one time before and it had trouble cranking at that time. However the car must have cut off before there was any real damage that was done. I was going very slowly at the time, and when I noticed the gauge was in the red I stopped the car by placing my foot on the brakes. But when I stopped the car with the brakes, the car then stalled on it’s own and the engine halted. So it’s good that it must have just got in the red for a very short time. And once again, as God would have it, I had stopped right in front of a home where a woman was outside already. And she was able to help me by fetching a pale of water that I placed in the radiator after the engine had cooled a little.
