Archive for the ‘My Story’ Category

When You Fast

November 9, 2009

It’s hard not to look at fasting like it’s a way that will help me lose weight, or to associate fasting with the “oh what a great” feeling that I had at various times I’ve fasted in the past. The temptations to look at it in some other way other than the way that I ’should’ look at it adds to the difficulty of looking at it the way that I should.

Naturally I am a man that wants to go my own way. I want to figure things out, resolve problems, and feel good about what I’ve been able to do. About what ‘I’ am able to do. This is my nature, my self reliant nature that is by and large separate from God. To go my own way is in it’s own admission, to go in a direction that is separate from God’s. It is impossible to go my own way and be submissive to God’s will at the same time. Here is where fasting comes in for me; at least in one aspect of it. If you could imagine for a moment, my sinful nature;strong looking, just a little off light colored, attractive but murky. However keep in mind that though it ‘is’ attractive, and it’s qualities can be twisted to look good, that these qualities are all in their essence separate from God.

In my illustration I used the phrase “strong looking”. Now it is my sinful nature’s nature to feed itself. It is hungry and it’s nature is to satisfy it’s desires; paramount in this is it’s desire for pleasure. It doesn’t matter what kind of pleasure as long as it can find a weakness in me to exploit. If my weakness is food then it will exploit my desire for it, if my weakness is the desire for women then it will try to fill my heart with it’s desire for them. Whatever it is, it will be motivated at it’s core to feed … on what is carnal (see, hear, feel, touch, taste). This might include any number of things that would, in a non Christ following context, be labeled under the category of “fun”. Nothing against fun by the way, it’s just a poor reason to get up in the morning when compared to the riches of knowing Christ. That however is another subject entirely.

But now I know it’s weakness; it can not be denied. It can not have it’s appetite dispossessed. This is where fasting comes in. Food, is such a basic desire of human nature. If you take it away from the sinful nature the body will live much longer than the sinful nature can stand. Even after a day or two that dark inner personae can ’start’ to deflate. And forget it, if you have the regular habit of fasting one day a week, that dark symbiont will have no desire to hang out in a body that isn’t devoted to listen, taste, and touch; everything that it wants.

By and large in my life I have always had more food than I needed. Even by the standards given by many nutrition charts that I’ve examined over and over again in my life. And so often I’m not eating to feed my body. If I am honest I realize that I am eating to feed my desire. Jesus set an example for us of denying ourselves of what the body desires Mark 8:34-35. We are called to do the same Gal 5:24. “If you fast” was never a question for the 1st century believers, it was a question of ‘when’ you fast Mat 6:16–18. And spiritual food from the father is more important than physical food for the body. Jn 4:32

Deleted Off the Pastor’s Friend’s List

November 6, 2009

Wow … I just got deleted off of the friend’s list of a previous pastor; or should I rather say ‘my’ previous pastor. wow. …. All I did was send him an email asking him a few questions. Questions that are so honest that I’ve even posted them here on my blog so that others can see.

I changed the name below because I’m not interested in slandering the guy. And although there is a ‘part’ of me that wants to “bring him out”, I realize that I don’t have to bring anyone out. That God is fully capable of bringing things to light if ‘he’ desire it. And God isn’t interested in being impatient with anyone; in this life God has taught me that He takes his time because he wants everyone to “turn around” from their own ways and give in into His ways. Thank God He ‘has’ given me His patience.

Timothy L. Gott November 4 at 9:50am
One of the things that I like about Facebook is the open forum, a sort of a group discussion where everyone is able to learn and grow from each other.

I checked for the comment that I made on your profile and it is gone. … That actually hurt a little bit because I put a lot of thought and effort in my comment and thought it was valuable. There is always the possibility that there was some sort of Facebook glitch or you deleted it on accident, or perhaps I’m looking for my comment in the wrong place.

However the likelihood of the former seems a little less than the likelihood that you intentionally deleted my comment. If that is true, would you have “deleted” my comment during a small group?

Pastor G. November 4 at 7:13pm
Tim, don’t take it personally. I use facebook to just communicate a simple, friendly, positive message…like God wants to bless you. I don’t have the time to debate through multiple comment exchanges. If someone honestly doesn’t know where I’m coming from and asks a question is one thing. But someone like you, who is a theologian and is just wanting to wrangle about the prosperity message…that’s not what I use FB for…sorry. Again, I’m keeping it simple and delete “counterpoint” messages like this frequently. I’m not interested in this forum for that. Thanks for understanding.

Timothy L. Gott November 4 at 7:48pm
What do you mean by theologian … I’m not even in the possession of a business degree let alone a doctorate in theology :-)

I’ll let this sit and digest this for a little while. … My wife just got home and I should get her to sleep early tonight (there’s twelve hours difference here).

Thank you for taking the time out for a thoughtful reply to my email. Have a good night … well night for me day for you :-) … take care and do God’s stuff !

Pastor G. November 4 at 7:58pm
cool

Timothy L. Gott November 5 at 8:57am
> I use facebook to just communicate a simple, friendly, positive message…like God wants to bless you. I don’t have the time to debate through multiple comment exchanges.

Do you often have people that are interested in debating through multiple comment exchanges? If you do then that might explain why you might have thought that was my intention. As far as debates go, I picture a “debate” being something where there are several exchanges back in forth where no one benefits.

Though I am eager to learn and to help others to learn, I can’t think of a single time over the last several months that I have responded more than twice in any facebook exchange. I figure one response to “put my thoughts out there”, and a second response might be needed to add clarification. However after that I don’t think a multiple goings back and forth would be edifying for anyone. In everything I pray that God will lead me by His Spirit.

My intention relates to this Facebook medium. I’m hoping for a ‘group’ discussion where everyone learns from each other; sort of a virtual smallgroup … I’m certainly no theologian. That is as long as the definition of a theologian hasn’t been reduced to what the Bereans did (the whole daily examination of scriptures thing),.

Before God gave me faith I used to use the sentiment of others “not taking things personally” quite often. I used to use this management technique as a buffer between myself and the statewide organization that I was running. Specifically as a buffer between the rules that I had set and the people that were affected by them. It was a way of emotionally detaching myself from the way that others were affected by those rules so I could focus on what I thought was best for the organization.

God changed that when I realized what he has done for me. He gave his ‘Son’ for me. He has loved me so much and there is ‘no’ buffer between him and me. He ‘is’ affected by the way that I feel; and even as I write these words I can’t help but be affected by the way He feels. Yes, I love him because he loved me first. He has taught me by his example that there is no exchange too little or too great for me to address with as much time or as little time as He would lead me to use to address it. To the world and it’s “time management” philosophies, this is foolishness; but God is my “Executive Director”. He has laid out where and how my time should be used and I will submit to Him as best as I can get this sinful nature of mine to do so.

As far as “a lot of back and forth” goes you don’t have to be too concerned about that. If you reply to the above (in whatever way God leads you) then I am appreciative of that. If the Spirit leads you to not reply at all, then I am appreciative of that. However if you or anyone says that they are my brother in the faith and they come up with their ‘own’ ideas about how they should manage ‘their’ time (as if that time really belonged to themselves) then I am here to correct them if it is the Spirit of God that leads me to do so. I am even more eager to be corrected. I find so few followers of Christ are willing to be used by the Spirit to that however; they’re too busy.

Be Blessed!

It’s the same thing as Video City

November 3, 2009

One of the teens made an interesting comment to me this morning; a line of thought that I had not considered. “Downloading pirated movies again I see.”. My comment didn’t have a chance to even lose it’s moment before she replied “It’s the same thing as Video City.”.
I had nothing to say in response to that. I had nothing to say because I had two lines of thought and I didn’t know which one, if either, would be of any benefit at that moment. “Wow” I thought to myself, “if this teen really did think that Video City was renting pirated movies than that shows that this teen’s conscience has no problem with watching stolen movies from ‘any’ source as long as they can watch the movies. This just confirms how little this teen must know about what Jesus and the apostles taught about the seriousness of what we do against God’s will … in consideration of Heb 10:26-27 … What someone wants to watch is another story.

Now there are ’some’ debatable issue in life ( Rom 14:1 ) which we should not go back and forth about. If anyone doesn’t think that taking something “for free”, without the permission of the owners, which others are selling in stores isn’t stealing; then well there isn’t much for me to debate. It might be helpful for me to understand ‘why’ they don’t think that is stealing though. Usually those that are doing this like to bring up issues of how much the owners are charging for the product or how they can’t afford it. How would either of those points make stealing ok to a God that could give us anything anything He wants to give us. I think if God doesn’t give us enough to have more than food and clothing, than He must in his divine wisdom know that we don’t need those things.
And as for the point about Video City having pirated videos, well there is no way I could know that for sure, just as it would be so hard to be sure if ‘any’ DVD or SVCD were pirated. All I can say is that this news article and also this report I read and the licensing information that I looked at, make it difficult to believe that the Video SVCDs are of the pirated variety. Yes, it’s still possible. But just quite unlikely.
I think that, as a God that searches the heart, that God is looking for those that are ’so’ affected by what they know was done for them through the sacrifice of his Son, that they will do everything they can to fight their inner self gratifying natures. Does this mean we will be perfect, no. But each of us can answer the question ourselves as to whether we are doing ‘everything’ to fight that inner self seeking nature for the sake of Christ. Am I fighting that nature at all?; are you?

The Laundry Woman’s Husband

October 15, 2009
Just got information about our laundry woman’s husband. She showed up here in tears just a couple of hours ago when I was not here.
One of the problems after the flood is so many people with previous problems (like diabetes) have had wounds that were infected by the dirty standing water as they attempted to save items from their homes and/or clean their homes. Her husband’s wound on his leg has become ’so’ infected that it is already purple now all the way up to the knee.

Just got information about our laundry woman’s husband. She showed up here in tears just a couple of hours ago when I was not here.

One of the problems after the flood is so many people with previous problems (like diabetes) have had wounds that were infected by the dirty standing water as they attempted to save items from their homes and/or clean their homes. Her husband’s wound on his leg has become ’so’ infected that it is already purple now all the way up to the knee.

Handwash

They may need to amputate later, but for now he needs a shot that will ease the infection and the pain. Our laundry woman is only asking that she can borrow the money. That she will work it off later. But for now her husband is in urgent need.God has given us enough to help with this but it is still hard. I think about the money that I have set aside for the purpose of helping others according to God’s will; but then I also think about money that we were saving for other medical and education “needs” of the family and how that is going down faster than it is going up.

Like most people I have this part of me that wants to believe that it is money that I need in order to provide for what my family needs. The part of me that is unfaithful to God’s promises wants to trust that the money we have set aside is what I will find my security in. However, just as my phrases ablove alludes to, I know that instead I need to trust in God.

Though there is an unfaithful part of me that wants to say trusting in what God has given me is the same thing as trusting in God; I know better. I know that “trust” is intricately bound to the very essence of “love”. So, if I trust in what God has provided me (and my mind is on the wealth that He provided me) then what I am actually trusting in is the wealth itself; as if God was only able to work through money. Though there is nothing wrong with money, the ‘love’ of the stuff is the root of all things that separate us from God.

God has given us the opportunity to give. And moreso I need to remember that He loved me so much through His son to give us life eternal. That was a very hight cost that was paid. And it’s not this world that we are taught by Him to invest in. It is the kingdom that will be prepared for all those that believe.

Which Version of the Scripture should I Use

October 12, 2009

In regard to the very old argument about which English version of the scripture is better I won’t deny that KJV & the ASV and a few others are closer to the more literal meaning given to us in the Greek and Hebrew. But what I am suggesting is that to get into a heated divisive debate about how one translation is better than another, you can instead say what can I do to care about this person who says they are my brother or sister in Christ; who admit that Jesus is the Christ the Son of God and who was risen on the third day from death to life.

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In the new testament you can read in Acts 16 and other chapter how brothers were already debating about issues even as unimportant as circumcision. Those who were the spiritual leaders, apostles and teachers at the time knew that these issues were of less importance than issues of how Jesus was the Christ the Son of God. 1 John 4:1-3 … so, just in one example in Acts 16 the spiritual leaders decide to submit to this lesser important matter of circumcision just so it would not be a “stumbling block” to their delivering the more important message of Christ crucified for the forgiveness of sins.

What Cause Should We Support?

October 12, 2009

There are a lot of things in this world that are “wrong”. And a lot of people that have problems which “need to be solved”. If we as individuals chase after each one that we think are worthy of our time and attention then we will do little more than wear ourselves out and help them little (if at all). God is a whole lot smarter than us. If we can learn to listen to that quiet voice that comes from Him, we can direct our individual efforts where they can make the most difference.

What Cause will You Support?

God knows much more than we do; what the most important things are. If there is the one that ‘God’ is leading you to be a part of, then do it with all of the effort and strength that He is able to give you. He deservedly gets the credit for everything that has been corrected and/or what He has given us the strength and inspiration to correct. And we deservedly get the credit for everything that we’ve messed up.

How Can There Be A God If

October 2, 2009

I think mothers and fathers look at the pain that their children go through a little differently. I think, in general, mothers would do anything so that their children would not have to experience pain. Father’s on the other hand, with varying philosophies, believe that certain amounts of pain and hardships are good for their children and prepare their children for future hardships that they might have to endure in life.

Consider for a moment the many scriptures that speak of our faith being refined the same way that fine metals are refined (through intense heat) … 1 Peter 1:6-9 is one of them. Intense heat is ‘not’ comfortable! :-) Now consider a God whose long term objective is ‘not’ our comfort in this world (though He does often comfort us), but rather a goal of the eternal salvation of our souls.

If we allow the tragedies in life to turn our hearts toward God then what we call tragedies have not been wasted. Look to the long term objectives and promises … 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Citizenship

September 30, 2009

If we are defined by one thing then we have focus, if we define ourselves by more than one thing then we do so with the detriment of being divided regarding some decision that we must make either now or in the future. We try to condone our self serving natures (me too) by self imposing a tier-system of one thing being more important than another.

I think about the examples we see in the New Testament scriptures. I have never read any disciple in scripture taking pride in their country or their citizenship. There were ones that admitted their worldly citizenship (for instance Paul as a Roman citizen) but only when it allowed an opportunity for God’s will of sharing the gospel with the Roman officials).

As for myself I am only a U.S. citizen according to the paperwork of the U.S. and the governmental rules of this world. In my heart and mind however I can borrow the words of a favorite praise and worship song; “This world is not my home, I’m just passing through” … Galatians 3:28

YOU Help the Poor !

September 30, 2009
The greatest benefit of serving those that are in need is that it will bring you toward a greater opportunity for a relationship with God.
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James 1:27, Acts 9:36, Acts 10.
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Notice how God not only ’says’ that “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and .. is …to look after orphans and widows in their distress”; but he also shows us in other scriptures how ‘He’ has reached out to those who have reached out to those who are in need.
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Also consider Matthew 10:42 and Mark 9:41.
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In mind of those last two, notice that it does ‘NOT’ say “anyone who gives money to an organization and has that organization give a cup of water in my name” … Instead it speaks to the individual doing it.
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When was the last time that ‘you’ gave to those that needed food and/or clothing. Jesus gave us an example to follow. His command is that ‘you’ follow that example. So, either you need to follow it or stop dirtying His name by not following it but still calling yourself a Christian. … ME TOO!

The greatest benefit of serving those that are in need is that it will bring you toward a greater opportunity for a relationship with God.

James 1:27, Acts 9:36, Acts 10.

Notice how God not only ’says’ that “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and .. is …to look after orphans and widows in their distress”; but he also shows us in other scriptures how ‘He’ has reached out to those who have reached out to those who are in need.

Also consider Matthew 10:42 and Mark 9:41.

In mind of those last two, notice that it does ‘NOT’ say “anyone who gives money to an organization and has that organization give a cup of water in my name” … Instead it speaks to the individual doing it.

When was the last time that ‘you’ gave to those that needed food and/or clothing. Jesus gave us an example to follow. His command is that ‘you’ follow that example. So, either you need to follow it or stop dirtying His name by not following it but still calling yourself a Christian. … ME TOO!

Windows One thru Twenty-Nine Please

September 11, 2009

I was very “pressed upon” and tired yesterday, but today I feel surprisingly well. Don’t get me wrong; my feet still hurt, my toe on my right foot feel like it’s bruised, and I’d happily take on about three more hours of sleep if I didn’t have so many other things that I believe I should attend to. Yes yesterday was quite a day.

Got there a little after ten AM. First I went to window one and was told by someone in line that I should go to window three to complete my “previously approved” 12(a) visa. At window three I was told that I needed to have my tourists visa extended by one month. But before I go to window twelve I needed to make two copies of several of my documents. Ok at window twelve I was told I needed to go to window fourteen, who politely explained to me that I needed to go back to window three to get something called an “Agenda”.

immigration02

Back at window three and he showed me that the document which I already possessed was signed by the director and so I didn’t need an Agenda. Knowing about beurocracy at it’s best I requested that he write a very short note that I could give to the guy at window fourteen so Mr. Window Fourteen wouldn’t think that I simply didn’t know what I was talking about. Mr. Three didn’t seem to want to give this to me however. So after I did my best three to four minutes of unsucceful persuasion I finally just got his name (MacDave) and accepted another printed document that was different than what I had but wasn’t what Mr. Fourteen was asking for.

After taking this to Mr. Fourteen he looked at what I got from Mr. Three with an expression of “This isn’t what I asked for”. After a few seconds of that he seemed to come up with a way that he could make this do and gave me some paperwork to fill out. After filling out the paperwork I went back to Mr. Fourteen who promptly sent me to window sixteen to pay for my one month visa extention. This was about P3,100 (but I don’t have the receipt in front of me right now). Going back to Mr. Fourteen with the receipt I was told I can pick up my passport and visa later at 1:30pm (a bit more than an hour and a forty five minutes). So I walked to Manila SM to run some other errands.

1:33pm I went to window sixteen to pick up my visa. Now back to Mr. Three and was given another form to fill out and the task of getting two copies of a handful of other documents. Now back at window three who tells me to go to window six to pay (another P5,300) and then back to window three. Mr. Three then tells me at 3:45pm that I can pick up my passport and this new visa at window one. Ahrighty another hour and a half to do something, back to SM Manila (which is a brisk ten minute walk by the way).

Three forty-five PM; your friendly neighborhood “Hey Joe” (as they call all Americans) makes his way back to window one and waits there for ten minutes for his turn. After getting to window one I am told to wait while the clerk goes to the back and gets something that has nothing to do with me and then comes back. My visa (and various paper work) is on the top but I am asked for P8 and the task of making two more copies of several documents and then to come back to window one. After waiting in a short line for the copier (pleasant surprise) I come back to window one and am told that I am not done yet (what?!?).

Ok, now at window number twenty four where I am give another document to fill out and the task of going to the other side of the building to get two copies of seven different documents. I come back to window twenty four a few minutes later and am told that I missed one. So I go back to the copier and come back to window twenty-four with what I think is everything however Mrs. Twenty-Four says that I have the wrong copy of the visa page of my passport. Now back to the copier to get this corrected and then back to Mrs. Twenty-Four.

Everything is completed so I take a finger print card to a make-shift finger print station behind me where I wait for five minutes before going back to Mrs. Twenty-Four who points at two chatty women sitting down about six feet from the station. I just thought they were there just like me, neither one of them said “How may I help you” when I was standing right beside the finger print station for five minutes.

After the finger printing is done I go back to Mrs. Twenty-Four and she tell me that I should go to Window twenty-six to pay an additional fee. Oh no!; when I started this fiasco I had printed out a page from the Phil Immigration website that said my total fees would be P5100. So like a good little Boy Scout I thought I would double that amount just so I could be prepared. Well that wasn’t quite enough and at this point I was P700 short; where would I get this money?

With a smile Mrs. Twenty-Four said “oh no, you’ll just have to come back tomorrow. We will be open at 9am.”. Well I smiled back politely and said “ok well I’ll just come back tomorrow then”. But that’s not what I was thinking. I was trying to figure out how I could get out of this situation without having to make the nearly two hour trip back to Marikina only to do this again tomorrow.

I thought of the lawyer that helped us with this process in the beginning. So I went up to the forth floor to his office and talked the matter over with him. After I was somewhat convinced that I wasn’t being treated unduly in this matter, I remembered that I had P1000 in my BPI account. So I went down to Mrs. Twenty-Four and asked if there was a BPI ATM near by and if I had the time to go to it. “It’s just over there but you’ll need to hurry; it’s 4:30pm already.”.

Ok so I hurry about fifty meters to the ATM and then hurry back; pesos in hand. Mrs. Twenty-Four reorganizes my paperwork and sends me to window twenty-six to pay P2991. The middle age woman at window twenty-six was about the most disinterested and slow employee I’ve ever come across. I waited there patiently for a very full five minutes before she ever got to me. She simply sorted and organized the other work that she had there, not once making eye contact with me. My paperwork simply hung there over the edge of her side of the window (I wanted to make sure that she knew I was there). And once every ninety seconds (about) I would shift my paperwork in front of her. Again with absolutely no eye contact I had no idea that she even knew I was there.

Paid the P2991 and then was told to proceed to window twenty-nine where I would have a picture taken for my new iCard and my contact and identifying information was inputted into a computer. The only piece that was incorrect was my age. It said 39 (I’m only 38) but it had my birth date correct of course but the age was still wrong. The explaination?; “The computer calculates age based on year”. They apparently had no way to correct this. And finally, about seven hours after I got there, I was given a telephone number to call to find out the status of my iCard tomorrow. But no one knew (I asked three of the people involved) whether the card would be ready when I called or whether it would take two days, three days, one week or three weeks .

Am I unhappy about this situation? Well no, was just tired and felt that my patience was quite tried. But as the old saying goes, “What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger”; or the scripture says “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

There area lot of details to this story (like the cost of everything) that I have left out. I spent nearly P12,000 yesterday and hopefully I’ll collect the receipts from upstairs and add those details another time as I think it will be useful for others in in the same situation.