Tue Nov 10, 2009 … 8:02am

Even as young as ten years old I recall hearing teenagers say this in response to a concerned person asking them about the music they were listening to. More specifically the concern stems from the concerned person listening to “the words” that are in the music and considering the message of the lyrics. “I’m just listening to the music” the teenager would respond. Even in my early teen years I remember thinking about this statement. Thinking to myself “Is it really possible to just listen to the music and not be influenced by the words?”. And now almost three decades later I can understand where this is possible and where this is impossible. And as I write that now I think to myself, if they were really just listening to the music then why aren’t they listening to songs with lyrics in a language that they don’t understand. There are quickly a dozen answers to that latter question but the point I am making is still relevant.

“Music influences our soul” is just one of many related sentiments quoted by so many men and women that the world considers to be great people.

Now … just as music “influences the soul” so I believe everything that we look at, touch, taste, and feel influences us. Many a proud self reliant person has said that ‘they’ won’t be influences by outside stimuli such as music or television. However these same “I’m just listening to the music” people are the same people who time after time have not been able to see far enough in the future to know that they would one day be singing along with words that they (at that point) fully understand.

It’s unavoidable ! … I remember being a teenager and envying those that were able to remember and sing along with the words. It seemed that those that could remember the words got the attention of the other kids. I wanted that attention. I wanted others, especially girls, to be mesmerized as I parroted off a few lines of what was popular. But despite my best efforts I couldn’t remember neaerly a third of what “the popular” kids seemed to be able to remember. Now despite my inability to remember these words, I am to this day still have bits and pieces of songs go through my head when I am not trying. My point is I am influenced even now by words that I was incabable of memorizing; only because i listened to the songs so many time. Sadly there are those who do not believe they can be influenced by things on a “less than conscious” level.

And God, who I often remind others is a lot smarter than us, in His wisdom gave us some instructions regarding the things we should be influenced by. “… whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things.” … Philippians 4:8

And in another place “Everything is permissable, but not everything is beneficial” … 1 Corinthians 10:23 … Can we think for a moment that the songs of my past or the song of our children’s present are able to “fit the bill” of what God would say is “good, pure, holy, etc”. Here are a few modern examples from music on the charts this decade:

• I Gotta Feeling – Black Eyed Peas … It’s songs like this that I ‘hope’ are going to have a good message. I mean, it sounds putting good to begin with but then you get into the rest of the lyrics it doesn’t take rocket science to get that the kind of “good night” that this guy is talking about involves getting “wasted” and getting laid. Yes in my “B.C. days” this is the kind of thing that I would have looked ’so’ look forward to. But now I know that God is a lot smarter than I am and has great reasons why we should keep these kinds of things off our minds and out of our hearts.
• Your Guardian Angel – The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus … again, a song about devotion to something (usually a someone) other than God. Yes from a world perspective you might easily say (so what’s the big deal). But then there is a reason the scriptures teach us to be devoted to nothing else other than the one that gave us life; our heart’s should be undivided. A human being makes a poor replacement for the place that God is suppose to inhabit inside each of us. … Admittedly the song is beautiful though. And this beauty is enticing. If I didn’t “know better” I would spend hours enjoying and filling my mind with songs such as these.
• Year 3000 – Jonas Brothers … This was a harmless song for me. But then I am open minded enough to know that it is harmless for me because I have no struggles with having my mind so full of science fiction fantasy that it would distract me from God’s thoughts in any given moment. For for someone else this song might not be harmless. The scriptures say in many places that ‘His’ people are continually praying, unceasingly remembering, and always rejoicing in Him. … That doesn’t leave much room for many other thoughts does it?
• One Time – Justin Bieber … “Love” songs are some of the most dangerous songs to listen to in regard to anyone seeking God’s will. The reason for this is that, of all things, God is spoken of as ‘being’ Love. This may sound contradictory but hear me out for a moment. Is God “a feeling”? Is got a beat of your heart or a bunch of “butterflies in your stomach”?; of course not. … The enemy has skillfully twisted what “love” ‘is’ into something that God is not. And as a result our ideas of God are often twisted into things that God is not. A hundred thousand words need to be written on this aspect of it.
• Voices – Randy Orton … What else can I say about this song that hasn’t been written. “Sorta like WWJD, only in this case Jesus would kick you in the skull instead of pull you up if he saw you down.”. ‘Nuff said; nothin’ “good” about that.
• You Belong With Me
  Lyrics by Taylor Swift … a song about a woman who is ’so’ consumed by the idea of convincing a man that she should be the one that is his. Whoah! If the reason we were put on this planet was to learn to be devoted to God, do you think that God wants us to instead live that life learning to be infatuated with another person?
• In The End – Linkin Park … Ok another one of those “debatable” songs in so many senses. But if your goal in life is a Philippians 4:8 thing, would you honestly choose to listen to this? If so I am looking forward to learning your reasons why ‘you’ do. Perhaps this will give me some incite into being better able to understand other’s reasons as well.

Now I’m not daft enough to believe that anyone should make an “off limits” list of music that no one is permitted to listen to. There are have been times in my life that songs like the above have been good for me to listen to just for a couple of minutes because they reminded me of something other than the intended message of the lyrics. While listening to songs like the above I have had thoughts like “Wow, the world is so subtly twisted. So skillfully and subtly twisted by the enemy as to get music lovers to redefine “good things” and no longer be able to recognize something of God.

And especially regarding “love” songs, I can think of many men and women that have an “innocent crush” on someone other than the person they are supposedly in a “committed relationship” with. This is a mindset that has been taught to us as innocent by a twisted modern culture. God has another plan regarding male female relationships. It goes along the lines of devoted yourself to God and then, when ‘God’ is ready it will make it clear to you if He has chosen someone for you to be with. And amazingly God doesn’t even need you to “date” in order to help Him figure that out :-)

Set Free To Follow Christ:
Freedom from Pornography
by Clay Brown

I’m writing this, not as one who has finished the journey to freedom over sin, but as a man who faces trials and failures every day of his life. I’ve learned a great many things since I have faced my sexual addiction. Perhaps the most difficult lesson has been learning to deal with my failures. I don’t consider the issue of sexual addiction one I can turn my back on. I feel like a character from a western novel who never sits with his back to the saloon doors. My victory over this ugly sin has spanned mere months. When those months turn to years I may develop a different view.

I’ve traveled such a long way since coming to First Stone Ministries for help. It’s not just sexual issues that have been overcome since that day nearly two years ago. My walk with God was shallow and unimpressive. Days – no, weeks – would go by before I’d have any real spiritual time with my Savior. I was coasting and I couldn’t see the increasing distance between myself and God. How often we fall to the subtlety of Satan rather than to his bully tactics. “Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.” (I Peter 5: 8-9). Have you ever watched a lion on the hunt. The unsuspecting victim is busy filling its stomach with leaves or grass. Too engrossed to stop what he’s doing to notice the tale-tell signs of approaching danger, he will pay the price. How does the lion attack? Does he roar and charge head on from two miles away? I’m learning more and more to see those fields of tall, luring grass that lie off from the path I must walk. For if I stray from the my path I risk being devoured by the lion as he lies silently beneath the grass, waiting.

Like so many others, I was a child when the seed of sexual addiction was planted within me. My father loved me very much, but his own addictions led him to introduce me to pornography and masturbation. Once the seed of corruption was planted Satan nurtured and watered it through the worlds system. When I became a young man I left home and joined the Marine Corps. I was stationed for four years in Southern California. Drug dealers, strip bars, peep shows and hookers littered the streets outside of Camp Pendleton. My time and money went towards staying high and feeding my sexual addiction. I couldn’t identify my sexual perversion as a problem. You see, the world may give lip service to drug abuse, but no such concern is directed to ungodly sexual behavior. Since I didn’t have God to guide and advise me I was left to seek happiness as the world advertises it. Looking to the world for moral guidelines is like going to a dermatologist who thinks band-aids are a cure for leprosy.

Pornography’s hold on me grew stronger as I grew older. The effect this had on my sexual life was always obvious to me, even when I was unable to see it through the eyes of the Holy Spirit. One effect it had on me that I was unable to see until I was well on my way to recovery was my inability to be intimate with others. Godly sex is an extension of the intimacy between a husband and wife. Worldly sex is a perverse, destructive form of self-gratification. I remember sitting in Stephen Black’s office one evening when he said something that opened my eyes. He told me that whenever we sin sexually we’re hurting our very souls. I Corinthians 6:18 says, “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.” The way we treat others is a mere reflection of how we feel about ourselves. When we allow sexual sin to pollute us we’re damaging our image of ourselves to the point where we may loose sight of who and what we are in God’s world. If we aren’t able to see ourselves as God does then we can not react to others in a true spirit of love.

You would have thought that when I asked Jesus Christ to come into my life I would have instantly been cleansed from all my sins. Actually, in one sense this did occur. “And this is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.” (I Corinthians 6:11). We are instantly washed by the blood of Christ at the moment of faith. Being transformed into the image of Jesus on earth (sanctified), however, is a gradual process. I used to daydream that God would appear in the midst of my troubles and shoot me with His “Acme Holiness Ray-gun”. I now see God’s wisdom more clearly than I did in those days of Warner Brothers cartoon fantasies. The painstaking method of sanctification has added strength to my walk with God that quick fixes could never have accomplished.

There is nothing as important in recovering from sexual addiction than our walk with god. Yet so many sincere Christians are trapped in this habitual sin. “Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each others burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:1-2)

God never intended us to be spiritual islands. Yet one of the destructive elements of this sin is that it isolates us emotionally. Before anyone can climb out of the pit of sexual sin they must reach up and grab the hand of another. I believe one of the greatest holes to be filled in the body of Christ is the shortage of laborers in the ministry of sexual recovery.

Brokenness is a prerequisite to spiritual victory. Taking the time to find First Stone Ministries, and keeping that first appointment with Stephen Black, was an extension of my brokenness. I had lost my wife, I was afraid of passing my sin to the next generation, and I felt a million miles from God. But once I made that first contact I was on the road to sexual freedom. God will deliver each and everyone of us from the sin that entangles us, but we must keep our end of the bargain. I’m reminded of the story of the slow-witted farmer who purchased a chain-saw. “This beauty’s guaranteed to cut down 40 trees a day”, the salesman boasted, “or we’ll give ya’ your money back.” “I’ll take it”, he replied. And moments later he was driving home with his new purchase. One week later, however, he was back in the store. “This thing don’t work”, he complained, “I’ve been workin’ my tail off and I ain’t able ta’ bring down more than five trees a day.” The salesman frowned at the saw. Then he took it and pulled the starter cord. Hearing the chain saw roar to life, the farmer jumped back in shock and exclaimed, “What’s that!” How often do we fail to use the power of God in our lives. I now realize, several years into my journey to sexual freedom, that my relationship with God ultimately enabled me to overcome my habitual sin. That may sound too easy to some, but like the slow-witted farmer we tend to get it wrong nevertheless.

Prayer, reading the scriptures of God and scripture memory have been the key disciplines to my building a powerful relationship with God. Freedom didn’t occur over night. The times I fell back into my sin were too numerous to count. Yet each time I did fall I got back up and turned to God. Continuing in God means not giving up. It means really wanting to put God first and the world behind us. “When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him,`Do you want to get well?’” (John 5:6) I never realized it until after the facts, but I didn’t have complete freedom over sexual sin until I truly wanted it. How often do we hear someone say they’d do anything to be free of a particular sin? But are they willing to put God first and the world behind them? Like so many things in life the answer to our problem is easy to understand but hard to practice. That’s because choices are made on 10% knowledge and 90% determination. Just as intellectual acceptance differs from true faith, true freedom over sin is a world away from lip service to the same.

I will never be the same since that moment I walked into First Stone Ministries like a wounded puppy, ready to face my sin. It wasn’t until I was well into my journey that I began to mature in my walk and experience victory. This journey will never end until Christ returns, and I’m glad for it. There are more meaningful endeavors than returning to the Egypt of our lives. That’s right, I don’t plan on bowing to Pharaoh ever again. I want to be where the presence of God shines, even if it means 40 years in the wilderness.

There is a tale about Abraham Lincoln before the Civil War. He happened upon a slave auction and noticed from the crowd the object of the next sale. A beautiful young black woman stood on the auctioneer’s stage. The bidding started and the men in the crowd began raising the price one after another as they appraised her with cruel stares. But with each bid Abraham Lincoln would raise it one dollar higher. As this continued the young slave girl eyed the tall awkward man with a look of suspicion and fear. Finally the last bid was made, and it fell to young Lincoln. Lincoln paid the auctioneer and the slave girl was brought to him. “Remove her chains”, he ordered her former captor. The girl rubbed her wrists and glared at her new master with uncertainty. “What ya’ goin’ ta’ do wit’ me now”, she asked. “Why, I’m going to sit you free miss”, he answered. “Free? What you mean, free?” “I mean you are a free person. You are no longer a slave.” Ya’ mean I can do whatever I want?” she exclaimed. Ya’ mean I can go anywhere I want?” Abraham Lincoln just smiled and nodded his head. “Then I want to be wit’ you!” she shouted. He looked down at her, puzzled. “You can go anywhere. Why would you want to follow me?” “Cause I wanna be wit’ the one who set me free.” When God set me free from sexual sin it was more than just a case of my overcoming a stronghold in my life. It was a renewal in my walk with God. It is the realization in my heart that I want to follow the one who has set me free.

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Updated: 13 July 2002

My return to the Phils have been a long time coming. My hope is that I will be able to keep my emotional wants and desires “out of it” long enough for me to listen to the wants and desires of God. I know that God wants us to do ‘His’ will and not our own. After all, that’s what makes the most sense. God made us so he knows what he made us for.

As for my “girlfriend” (Malu) goes I would have to say I don’t believe in that sort of thing. It would be more accurate to say that I know that God is my father and I have allowed God to make the decision whether or not I should be single or be married. My soon-to-one-day-be marriage to Malu is the result of my listening for God’s will and not my own. That is if that every happens; only God knows.

I think the whole concept of boyfriends and girlfriends only gets singles in trouble with matters of purity. Malu is actually the one that introduced a book to me called “Choosing God’s Best” that reflected a lot of the things that I believe the Lord had already shown me. The purpose for our lives is to glorify God, so I know that the Lord has chosen someone for me that is none better for that purpose. If the only thing that draws a man to a woman (or visa versa) is that woman’s beauty, intelligence, humor, or other qualities, then I believe that relationship/marriage would be built on something substandard.

The only thing worth building a relationship or future marriage on is the same reason that anything should be built on; the foundation of Christ. And with that in mind I will also add that any man/woman that would allow God to make that decision for them would naturally find that they would find everything they need in the person that God had chosen for them (or even being single). In addition to being intelligent and beautiful, I also believe Malu will more importantly help me to do God’s will in ways that I don’t yet understand and only God knows.